Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
