CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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