Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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