you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
