Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
