The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
