Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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