brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize