Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
