I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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