what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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