You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
