I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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