i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
As shirtless as possible
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
