I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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