I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize
