That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize