do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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