I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
