Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
