whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
