You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
