i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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