I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
