im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
