your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
