She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The power of my boobs compel you
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