I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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