Your face is a jimmy john
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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