Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
