i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
