Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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