so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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