I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize