Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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