Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize