Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
