So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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