i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize