i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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