For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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