she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
