I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
