Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
