I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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