I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
