So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
