She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
