Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize