your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
