508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
