She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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