What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We left the knife in your bed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
