So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Your cock deserves a montage
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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