Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
