I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So many bounce houses so little time
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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