He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
