My hair reeks of homosexuality.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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