Sry I called you an 8
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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