ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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