5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
