roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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