if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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