I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
