were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
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