She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
