i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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